By Ryan Clark on April 7, 2014
Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, April 7th, 2014 (USA Network)
Location: The Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, LA
Results by Matt Boone
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
In-Ring Segment: Daniel Bryan, Triple H & Stephanie McMahon
The post-WrestleMania XXX edition of WWE RAW opens up with a Daniel Bryan video package, chronicling his start as a NXT rookie, all the way through his WWE World Heavyweight Championship victory last night in New Orleans. After that, we shoot live into the arena, where literally everyone is doing the “Yes!” chant. Justin Roberts introduces the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan. His music hits, the fans explode, and out he comes with both of the belts and a legion of fans chanting “Yes!” as he hops his hairy ass down to the ring.
Before Daniel Bryan can even speak, the entire arena goes ballistic with a “Daniel Bryan” chant, complete with the clapping. It goes on for literally a full minute or two. Bryan says, “you guys don’t get tired, do you?” The entire arena starts chanting “No!” Bryan jokes that it’s harder to do the “Yes!” gesture with two heavy titles in both hands now. As Bryan continues to speak, he is interupted with an enormous “you deserve it” chant. A huge one. Bryan says he may deserve it a little bit, but “you guys” truly deserve it. Bryan credits all of the fans and the power they have as the reason he became the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion at WrestleMania XXX.
As another explosive “Yes!” chant breaks out, “The King of Kings” theme hits, and out walks The Authority. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon make their way to the ring, each with a grumpy look on their face. They stay outside the ropes, standing on the apron. Everyone breaks out into a huge “asshole” chant directed at The Authority. HHH says he’s not going to step into the ring because he might do something he’ll regret. Bryan takes that opportunity to get rid in his face and do a big “Yes!” chant with both titles literally inches away from him.
Triple H goes on to tell Bryan to enjoy his moment, because it’s not going to last. He says it can’t last, and as a matter of fact, it won’t even last through the night. HHH says he’ll make sure of it because tonight he’s going to defend that very championship — against him. He says he’s not only going to become a 14-time champion, but he’s going to put an end to “this crap.” He says he’s going to shut everyone up. Triple H says the reality is, this is his show and there’s not a damn thing he can do about it. The Authority leaves, Bryan leads the fans in another “Yes!” chant and then his music plays to end the opening segment of tonight’s show. After that, we head to our first commercial break of the evening.
Backstage Segment: Evolution Returning?
Backstage, we see Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. They talk about how tonight they’re going to end the “Yes!” movement. In walks Batista. He complains about the fact that Triple H gets a shot at Daniel Bryan tonight instead of him. Randy Orton walks in and he complains about the same thing. Stephanie assures them that they’ll get their title shot rematches, just not tonight. She also informs them that they’ll be teaming up tonight to challenge The Usos for the WWE Tag-Team Championships. They talk about how when all of them are on the same page, they are unstoppable, clearly teasing a return of Evolution.
The Wyatt Family vs. John Cena, Sheamus & Big E.
After the backstage segment, The Wyatt Family cut-in happens. Bray Wyatt, along with Erick Rowan and Luke Harper appear on the big screen. “New Orleans, we’re here.” Out walks The Wyatt Family for a six-man tag-team match. As soon as they enter the ring, Michael Cole takes us to another commercial break, but not before revealing that when we return, The Wyatt Family will be in action against the trio of John Cena, Sheamus and Big E.
When we return from our second commercial break of the evening, Sheamus is in the middle of his ring entrance. He joins Big E., who already came out during the break, at ringside. Out next is their tag-team partner for tonight, John Cena. The crowd greets Cena with their usual mixed-bag reaction, which as usual leans more toward the negative. They are chanting something, but it’s hard to make it out over Cena’s theme song.
All six guys start brawling in the ring before the bell rings to make this match official. When the smoke clears, Cena and Wyatt are left in the ring alone. The bell rings and Cena goes to work on the leader of The Wyatt Family. Within seconds, Wyatt drops Cena with a big right hand and begins his offensive domination in the early goings of our first match of the evening.
Lots of back-and-forth action, with the crowd sounding literally insane throughout. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a crowd this loud during a match. Man. Really, really loud. They are boo’ing literally any offense the babyfaces get, and are wildly cheering anything any of The Wyatt Family members do. On that note, we head to another commercial break.
When we return from commercial, The Wyatt Family are beating up on Cena. The fans are going absolutely nuts. At one point, the entire crowd starts breaking out into song, singing “he’s got the whole world in his hands,” and I don’t just mean a few words, or the chorus, literally the entire song. This crowd is absolutely nuts. Now they’re singing “John Cena sucks” to the tune of Cena’s theme song, without the music playing. Just an organic acopella performance from 20,000 pro wrestling fans in New Orleans. This crowd is something else.
Bray does his back-bridge spot and the fans start chanting “Bray’s gonna kill you.” He gets up, hits Big E. with his “Sister Abigail” finisher and that’s all she wrote, folks. 1-2-3. The Wyatt Family wins the opening match on the show, and the crowd went totally nuts the entire time. Amazing stuff. After the match, we head to another commercial.
Winners: The Wyatt Family
Fandango & Summer Rae vs. Santino Marella & Emma
A Bo Dallas vignette airs as we come back from commercial. After that, Fandango’s music hits and he dances his way out with Summer Rae. The fans are in 100-percent “Fandango’ing” mode. They are singing and doing the hand-gesture like crazy. What an amazing crowd. Out next, to another loud reaction, is the mixed-team of Santino Marella and Emma. It’s time for a mixed tag-team match here on RAW.
The bell rings and Fandango and Santino start things off for their respective teams. The fans break out into another “Fandango’ing” movement. I wonder if this crowd can keep up this level of intensity for two more hours. Anyways, Fandango and Santino tag out, and Emma goes to work on Summer. Within seconds, Emma locks Summer in her submission finisher and she taps out. Santino and Emma pick up the victory. After the match, we head to another commercial break.
Winners: Santino Marella & Emma
In-Ring Segment: Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman
We are told that after the break, Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman will come to the ring to address Lesnar ending Undertaker’s legendary WrestleMania streak last night. We head to a break.
When we return from commercial, Brock Lesnar’s music hits and out he walks with Paul Heyman to an enormous amount of boo’s from the fans in New Orleans. We see some still photos of Lesnar defeating Undertaker last night as the two make their way to the ring.
We see a close-up shot of Lesnar’s face, and he has a black eye. Michael Cole on commentary informs us that Undertaker was rushed to the hospital after the match last night with a concussion, but has since been released. The fans, meanwhile, are getting all over Lesnar and Heyman’s case with an extreme level of boo’s and negative chants.
The music cuts out and a smiling Paul Heyman goes to speak. He informs us that his name is Paul Heyman. He says it is the greatest privelage of his career to serve as the advocate for the beast incarnate, Brock Lesnar. He calls him the conquerer of The Undertaker’s streak. Everyone boo’s. The fans all chant “bullshit” as Heyman brags and rubs in the fact that they won last night.
Heyman goes on to explain that five seconds after Undertaker walking through the curtain, he collapsed. He says paramedics attended to him and Vince McMahon himself left during WrestleMania to travel with Undertaker to the hospital. Heyman says he’s shooting from the hip with this one. Heyman says Lesnar nearly broke Undertaker’s neck last night. He says the smartest thing Undertaker ever did was leave his shoulders on the mat for a count of three last night.
Heyman goes on a lengthy rant about how everyone in WWE is wannabe’s and Brock Lesnar is the only real deal. He keeps calling Brock Lesnar “the one.” He finishes up his speech and the two walk off. And that’s that.
WWE Tag-Team Championships
- The Usos (c) vs. Randy Orton & Batista
After the Heyman/Lesnar segment, we head to another commercial break. As we head into the break, we are told that the WWE Tag-Team Championship match between The Usos and the team of Randy Orton and Batista is next.
When the commercial ends, we see an Adam Rose “Erotic Express” bus vignette. That’s the second new NXT guy vignette of the evening, for those keeping track. After that, “The Animal” Batista’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Out next is “The Viper” Randy Orton, followed by the WWE Tag-Team Champions, The Usos.
The bell rings and “The Animal” and “The Viper” immediately go to work on the WWE Tag-Team Champions. They viciously dominate both guys straight out of the gate. The fight spills out to the floor, where both Batista and Orton dominate The Usos with ease. Orton hits his draping-DDT off the barricade onto one Uso. The other Uso falls victim to a Batista Bomb on the steps. Eventually the referee has seen enough and calls for the bell. Batista and Orton are disqualified. After the match, we head to another commercial break.
Winners via Disqualification: The Usos
Rob Van Dam vs. Damien Sandow
As soon as we return from commercial, we hear Justin Roberts say, “ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back, Rob Van Dam!” The fans explode. RVD’s music hits and out walks “Mr. Monday Night.” During his ring walk, Michael Cole informs us that RVD goes one-on-one with Damien Sandow tonight. Sandow is already in the ring, by the way.
The bell sounds to make this one official and the fans immediately erupt in “RVD” chants.” Sandow gets in a little bit of offense, including his “Elbow of Disdain,” however that was about it and then Van Dam literally hit all of his trademark moves and spots. He finished things up with a Five-Star Frogsplash and picked up the 1-2-3. After a quick victory, we head to another commercial break.
Winner: Rob Van Dam
Bad News Barrett vs. Rey Mysterio
After the break, some unfamiliar theme music plays. Eventually it transitions into a familiar sound, that being “Bad News Barrett.” Wade Barrett makes his way to the ring to a huge pop. Already in the ring is Rey Mysterio. Before the match is made official, Barrett does a quick “I’ve got some bad news” promo on the mic.
The bell rings and here we go. Mysterio is flying all over the place like the little speed demon he is, but eventually the size and strength of Barrett is too much for the masked Superstar.
Barrett dominates Mysterio for a couple of minutes, all-the-while the crowd is chanting and going nuts for the deliverer of “Bad News.” In the end, Barrett puts away the smaller guy, picking up the victory via pin fall. After the victory, we head to another commercial.
Winner: Bad News Barrett
Alexander Rusev vs. Zack Ryder
After the break, “The Ravishing Russian” makes her way out to the stage. Lana introduces Alexander Rusev to the ring. Rusev makes his way to the ring, where Zack Ryder is already standing.
The bell rings to make this one official and the crowd immediately breaks out into pro-Ryder chants. The crowd also erupts with a loud “U.S.A.” chant. Rusev dominates Ryder with ease and ultimately finishes him in a match that lasted all of two minutes, with his “Accolade” submission finisher. After the match, we head to another break.
Winner: Alexander Rusev
In-Ring Segment: Ultimate Warrior
When we return from commercial, Ultimate Warrior’s theme music hits and the newest WWE Hall Of Fame member makes his way to the ring in a suit, sans-facepaint. As he approaches the ring, he puts on a Warrior-style overcoat. When he gets to the ring, he shakes the hell out of the ropes, like only Warrior can.
The music fades out and we hear, “speak to me, Warriors.” The fans explode and start a “Warrior” chant. He says he wasn’t sure what he was going to say tonight. He then stops and puts on a Halloween-style mask (complete with the string and paper clip holding it together). He asks the camera man to hold his mic so he can put it on. Once he gets the mask on, he goes nuts and turns into the real Warrior, making pretty much no sense in the process. Gotta love it. We head to another commercial.
In-Ring Segment: AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka and Paige
When we return from commercial, AJ Lee’s music hits. The WWE Divas Champion makes her way to the ring with Tamina Snuka. Her music fades down and she gets on the mic.
AJ starts off by saying, “295.” She says that’s how many days she has held the WWE Divas Championship. She brags about holding the record as longest Divas Champion in history. She talks about how she stood on the stage several months ago and ripped all of the Divas a much deserved “new one” and said she gave them 294 days to prove her wrong. She calls herself the “Best Diva in the World.” The fans all explode with CM Punk chants due to the “Best in the World” reference.
Out of nowhere, some music hits and out walks NXT Diva, Paige. The fans go ballistic. I haven’t heard a pop for a Diva that loud in a long time. The music dies down and the fans break out into a “Paige, Paige” chant. Paige congratulates AJ, but AJ tells her to run back to NXT because she doesn’t need her congrats. AJ challenges Paige. Paige says she’s not ready. AJ bitch-smacks her really hard. AJ asks if she’s ready now. She says it’s time for a match and she says she’s putting her title on the line.
WWE Divas Championship
- AJ Lee (c) vs. Paige
The fans break out into a “this is awesome” chant. The bell rings and AJ immediately attacks Paige. The fans all boo her loudly. AJ skips around proudly.
AJ ends up locking Paige in her Black Widow submission finisher out of the blue. Paige struggles for a while, but eventually reverses her way out of it, slamming AJ sloppily in the process. She covers her. 1-2-3. We have a new WWE Divas Champion. We head to a commercial.
Winner and NEW WWE Divas Champion: Paige
When we return from commercial, we see a shot of the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal trophy in the middle of the ring. After that, “Real American” hits, and Hulk Hogan makes his way to the ring to the iconic song. “The Hulkster” gets a great reaction from the New Orleans fans.
Hulk Hogan Presents Trophy To Cesaro, Cesaro Becomes A “Paul Heyman Guy”
Hogan opens by poking fun at himself with a “Superdome” reference. The fans break out into a “Cesaro” chant as he talks about loving seeing the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal last night. Hogan introduces Cesaro, who makes his way out to the ring with Zeb Colter. The fans “hum” Cesaro’s theme song as The Real American makes his way to the ring.
Before Cesaro can speak, Zeb Colter cuts him off and says, “I’ll take it from here.” Colter says Cesaro is a “Zeb Colter guy.” Cesaro cuts him off and says he’s not a “Zeb Colter guy,” he’s a “Paul Heyman guy.” Out comes Paul Heyman. Heyman comes out to a huge pop.
Heyman says not only is he the advocate to the conquerer of the streak, but he’s the advocate of the “king of swing.” Colter flips out and asks if Cesaro is jumping ship. Heyman calls Colter a “grandpa.”
Out of nowhere, Jack Swagger attacks Cesaro from behind. He smashes the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal trophy. Cesaro looks pissed outside of the ring, re-enters the ring and brutalizes Swagger. We head to a commercial as the fans passionately chant, “Cesaro.”
Cesaro (with Paul Heyman) vs. Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter)
When we return from commercial, we are informed that Brad Maddox made a match. We see the match in progress, and it’s Cesaro, with Paul Heyman in his corner, taking on his former “Real American” tag-team partner Jack Swagger, who has Zeb Colter in his corner.
Cesaro is going to work on Swagger as the fans “hum” the old Real Americans theme song. This crowd has managed to keep their crazy energy going for three hours. Color me impressed. We see a shot of Heyman holding what’s left of the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal trophy.
Meanwhile, Swagger starts to get the better of Cesaro, as Colter looks ahead with pride. Cesaro eventually starts fighting back, with the crowd very much behind him. Cesaro goes for the “Cesaro Swing” on Swagger, but his former Real American partner ducks out the back door and heads up the ramp with Zeb Colter. The referee counts him out. After the match, we head to another commercial break.
Winner via Count Out: Cesaro
Backstage Segment: Stephanie McMahon, The Shield & Kane
When we return from commercial break, we shoot backstage to Stephanie McMahon, who is with The Shield and Kane. All three members of The Shield argue with Kane, but ultimately Stephanie forces them to all agree to be on the same page and make sure that Triple H walks out of New Orleans tonight as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. We head to another commercial.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
- Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Triple H
When we return from commercial, Justin Roberts says the following contest is for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. With that said, Daniel Bryan’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring to a ton of “Yes!” chants. Instead of his opponent — Triple H — coming out next, Batista and Randy Orton make their way to the ring. They hit the ring and double-team Bryan, beating him down in the corner of the ring.
Triple H’s theme music hits, and out to the ring comes “The King of Kings.” Eventually, Kane’s music hits. The announce team seems happy like Kane is going to restore some order, even though we obviously all heard Stephanie McMahon order him to make sure “The Game” beats Daniel Bryan tonight.
The fans break out into a “hounds of justice” chant, and out comes The Shield. The Shield members hit the ring and eventually beat up Orton, Batista and HHH, to the great delight of the fans in New Orleans.
The melee continues until eventually, Daniel Bryan hits his Running Knee on Triple H. When the smoke finally clears, Randy Orton, Batista, Kane and Triple H back their way up the ramp, with HHH clearly overheard shouting “you started a war you can’t finish,” as it seems like we’re heading into a feud between a reunited Evolution and The Shield.
Daniel Bryan’s theme music hits and the WWE World Heavyweight Champion celebrates as the fans in New Orleans chant “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
That’ll do it, FOLKS.
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