WWE RAW Results (3/27) – WM33 Go-Home Show!

Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, March 27th, 2017
Location: The Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, PA
Results by Adam Martin of Wrestleview.com

“Then. Now. Forever.” The WWE video leads us into the show.

Until The Undertaker’s video interrupts the opener. We see flashes of a cemetery and hear his music before the screen goes black.

The RAW video plays, and we go live into the arena with a big pyrotechnics display. We are six days away from WrestleMania 33. Tonight, we’ll see a contract signing between Triple H and Seth Rollins for a “Hold Harmless Agreement” at WrestleMania. Brock Lesnar and Goldberg will also be face-to-face inside the ring.

Bayley addresses her match at WrestleMania

The WWE RAW Women’s Champion, Bayley, makes her way to the ring. Her match at WrestleMania against Sasha Banks, Nia Jax, and Charlotte Flair is now a Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match. Bayley says she’s feeling Philadelphia tonight. They give her a nice hand. She asks who is ready for WrestleMania, and it appears the crowd is ready. This is her favorite time and day of the year. That sign in the rafters gives her butterflies. She used to get together with her friends, gather their money together, and beg her parents to buy WrestleMania. This year, she’s not at home with her friends or in the crowd. This year, she’s at WrestleMania. Defending her title in a Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match sees the odds stacked against her…

Charlotte Flair’s music interrupts her. Flair asks if she really dreamed of going to WrestleMania as the paper champion. She needs to get her mind and dreams out of the clouds because The Boss has made her her pawn. When she beat Sasha Banks in December, she’s been out of the title picture. She looked for a way back into the picture, and she found one in Bayley. Flair gets into the ring and calls her a naive fan girl living in a woman’s world. If it weren’t for Banks, she’d still be the Women’s Champion. There are a few things left that are legit about The Boss, but her friendship with Bayley isn’t one of them. Flair is walking out of WrestleMania as the five-time Women’s Champion, and Bayley will be leaving with no friends, titles, or future. Flair shows a tweet from Banks about their friendship.

A rude “CM Punk” chant fires up. Sasha doesn’t believe in friendships – she believes in titles. She was tossed to the side, and now Bayley will be too. Flair says Banks is waiting to stab her in the back.

Sasha Banks comes out and says she’s tired of Flair’s complaints. She’s out of her mind to compare their past relationship with her friendship with Bayley. Flair says she can see through the lies. Banks says Flair is trying to stir it up between them, but they’re big girls. Friendship is friendship, and business is business. She beat Bayley to get into the match and will take care of business at WrestleMania.

Nia Jax comes out smiling. She’s tired of hearing about these three. Jax says she’ll eliminate all three of them. Flair says the only reason she’s in the match is because Banks didn’t have to pretend to care about Bayley anymore. Banks attacks her. Jax takes down Bayley, but Bayley fights back. They’ll be in action, next.

-Commercial Break-

WrestleMania is 6 days away.

Bayley and Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte Flair and Nia Jax

The bell rings. Sasha Banks starts against Charlotte Flair. They lock up and tussle out of the ring. They stay locked up until Flair shoves her into the barricade. Banks shoves her into the apron and puts her back in the ring. Flair kicks her, but Banks takes her back down. They botch a head-scissor into a straightjacket submission that sees Flair bent at an uncomfortable angle. Flair eventually fights out of it and whips Banks out of the ring. Banks tries to pull Nia Jax off the apron, but Flair cuts her off. Jax is tagged in, and she shoves Banks. Banks goes for a pin, but Jax doesn’t go down. Bayley is tagged in, and they hit Jax with a double dropkick that doesn’t take her down. Jax shoves Bayley down and tags Flair in. Bayley tries to fight them off, but she’s quickly taken down. Flair puts her in the corner, but Bayley bounces her off the turnbuckle a few times. Bayley picks up a two count. Flair soon takes her down and clubs away at her for a one count. Flair applies a chin lock and shakes her around. A light “Let’s go Bayley” chant fires up. Bayley fights up, but Flair takes her back down. Flair kicks her before whipping her to the corner and chopping her down. Flair goes for a Figure Four, but Bayley boots her out of the ring.

Banks is tagged in, and she connects with a pair of clotheslines followed by a dropkick. Banks blocks a kick and bounces her off the turnbuckle. Banks goes to the top rope and hits a cross-body block for a near fall. Flair elbows her back, and Jax blind tags in. Banks rolls up Flair, but Jax pulls her off. Banks boots Jax back, but Jax quickly puts her on the apron and knocks her to ringside.

-Commercial Break-

We come back from the break to see Flair strutting while Banks is down. Flair then picks up a two count. Jax is tagged in, and she visibly calls a spot before throwing Banks across the ring. Jax drops some elbows before smiling at Bayley. Jax then applies an arm and chin lock. Banks fights up and hits a jawbreaker. Jax stops her from making a tag and gets Flair in the match. Banks elbows her back, but Flair quickly cuts her off with a pair of backbreakers before stretching her out over her knee. Banks fights up and hits a head-scissor takeover. Flair stops her from making a tag, but Banks sends her into Jax.

Bayley is tagged in, and she hits a pair of hammer throws followed by a takedown. Bayley puts her on the apron and snaps her off the ropes. Bayley shoulders her in the corner, rolls back, and hits a running back elbow. Flair quickly catches her with a high knee, but Bayley takes her down with a back suplex for a near fall. Bayley goes to the second rope, but Flair knocks her off and attacks the knee. Flair applies the Figure Four, but Banks dropkicks her. Jax runs in and slow motion leaves the ring. Jax catches Banks coming off the apron, but Banks slides off and sends her into the post. Flair kicks Banks down at ringside. Bayley then catches her with Bayley-To-Belly for the win.

Winners by Pinfall: Bayley and Sasha Banks

Jax attacks Bayley and Banks from behind. She drops a leg on Banks and gives Bayley a Samoan Drop. Jax then avalanches Flair down. Jax picks up the WWE RAW Women’s Championship and holds it up while looking at the WrestleMania sign.

Footage is shown from two weeks ago when Seth Rollins attacked Triple H and revealed that his knee is fine. Triple H then viciously attacked the knee and injured it again. They will meet in the ring for a contract signing later tonight.

-Commercial Break-

An advertisement is shown for the WWE Hall of Fame, which will take place this Friday. The commentators talk about the red carpet special that is an hour before the event.

A video is shown of Mick Foley being fired by Stephanie McMahon last week on RAW from Brooklyn.

The André The Giant Memorial Trophy is shown. Charly Caruso introduces Sami Zayn. She asks about Mick Foley being fired. Zayn says it’s been a rough week and it’s weird not having him around. Now that Foley is gone, they have to honor his legacy and message. Foley told him to continue to stand up for what’s right. There is no bigger challenge than the André The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. He’s going to WrestleMania and entering that match. He’s dedicating the match to Mick Foley. Stephanie McMahon walks up and asks if he just inserted himself into that match. Foley’s presence isn’t felt because he couldn’t do his job. Under her regime, he’ll have to earn his way. She’ll give him the chance because she wants the trophy on RAW. Tonight, he’ll have to win his No Disqualification Match against Kevin Owens. If he can’t get the job done, he can join Mick Foley on the unemployment line because he’ll be fired. She smiles and walks off.

The WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Neville, is on commentary for this next match.

Cruiserweight Match
Austin Aries vs. Noam Dar w/ Alicia Fox

An “Austin Aries” chant fires up. Aries viciously dropkicks Dar into the corner. Dar rolls out of the ring to recover. Aries points at Neville.

-Commercial Break-

We come back from the break to see Dar stomping Aries down in the corner. Dar whips Aries into the corner and avalanches him for a two count. Dar applies a neck vice, but Aries fights up. Dar cuts him off, but Aries fights back. Dar sends him sternum-first into the corner and uppercuts him for a two count. Dar counters a head-scissor by dropping him on his face at a scary angle. That didn’t look good. Aries clotheslines him twice before punching him, taking him down, and dropping an elbow. Aries lifts him up, but Dar takes him down. Aries kicks him out of the ring and hits a suicide dive going between the middle and bottom ropes. Aries gets Dar back into the ring and connects with a neckbreaker on the ropes. Alicia Fox shouts at Aries, and Dar rolls him up for a two count. Aries connects with a vicious forearm and a Discus Fivearm. Aries stares at Neville before applying the Last Chancery for the submission.

Winner by Submission: Austin Aries

Neville stands on the commentary table and stares at Aries. Aries stands on the second turnbuckle and points at the WrestleMania sign.

Footage is shown of Triple H offering a Hold Harmless Agreement for Seth Rollins last week on RAW.

Seth Rollins is seen walking backstage on a crutch. We’ll see the signing, next.

-Commercial Break-

Another vignette of The Undertaker walking through a cemetery is shown.

Triple H & Seth Rollins sign a Hold Harmless Agreement

Seth Rollins’ music hits, and he makes his way to the ring limping on a crutch to a decent reception. Rollins gets in the ring, and the reception picks up. There’s a table in the ring. Rollins calls Triple H out to “get this done.”

Triple H’s music, and the WWE COO makes his way to the ring holding the Hold Harmless Agreement for a Non-Sanctioned Match at WrestleMania. Triple H stands on the apron and says before he gets in the ring, he will defend himself if Rollins attacks him, and that won’t go well for him. If Rollins attacks him before he signs the document, the match is off. Rollins will sit down in the ring and listen to the rights he’s signing away. Rollins says he’s listened to Triple H long enough and tells him to get into the ring with the contract. Triple H gets in the ring and demands that he sit down and listen. Rollins doesn’t do it. Triple H says listening to the crowd is the wrong thing. Triple H says the match is off and walks out of the ring. Rollins then sits down. Triple H says, “Good boy.” Triple H wants him to understand what will happen when he signs the contract. Rollins is giving up all his rights. When he gets into the ring at WrestleMania, he’s going to take that crutch and wrap it around his knee again. Triple H won’t stop there and will keep going until he destroys what he created. When he signs the document, he gives away his rights. When Rollins’ career is over, he can’t sue him, his wife, or the WWE. Rollins says, “I get it, so sing the contract and hand it over.”

Triple H says Rollins didn’t sell his soul – he made a smart business decision. Now he has a moral dilemma because of the crowd. Triple H hates that success is frowned upon in society. It’s jealousy. If Rollins isn’t making enemies, he’s not making money. If everyone doesn’t hate him, he’s not living to his full potential. Triple H says he’d rather eat well than sleep well. He’d rather live the good life. You get one shot at life. You take life, grab it by the throat, and make it give you everything you want. Screw everybody else. If Rollins wants to grow a conscience and sign the contract, when he goes to “The Ultimate Thrill Ride,” it won’t be that great. Maybe he can get his knee patched up and start wrestling in front of a couple hundred people. Triple H signs the contract and says Rollins is a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest. A one-legged man has never won an ass kicking contest. Rollins won’t be the first. Triple H says understands missing WrestleMania a second year in a row sucks, but if he signs the contract, he’ll walk into WrestleMania, but he won’t walk out.

Triple H puts the contract in front of him. Rollins looks at the contract and says that was the same line of bullcrap he bought into three years ago. This isn’t three years ago. When you’re out rehabbing, you gain perspective. Rollins says he learned that he liked himself before he met Triple H. Rollins didn’t mind wrestling for a hot dog and a handshake at the Philadelphia National Guard Armory. When the got together, they accomplished a lot, but at what cost? It’s not about fame, power, or one match at WrestleMania. This is about redemption, not revenge. Rollins gave up everything to stand next to him. For what? At WrestleMania, Triple H better be prepared to tear his leg off and beat him with it because nothing will stop him from tearing him apart. Rollins is going to get back what he wants: who he was before Triple H. Rollins then signs the contract and shoves it into Triple H.

Triple H turns before kicking the table into Rollins’ bad knee. Triple H pushes the table aside and kicks him in the leg. Triple H takes off his jacket and tie slowly before picking up the crutch. Triple H looks at it, but Rollins catches him with a step-up enzuigiri. Rollins goes for a Pedigree, but Triple H clips the knee. Triple H goes for a Pedigree, but Rollins counters with a back body drop over the top rope. Triple H gets back in the ring, but Rollins cracks him on the back with the crutch. Triple H quickly leaves the ring and retreats up the ramp. Rollins holds himself up and looks furious. Rollins can barely stand.

-Commercial Break-

Footage is shown of what just happened between Seth Rollins and Triple H.

The André The Giant Memorial Trophy is shown on the ramp. This is an over-the-top-rope challenge.

Over-The-Top-Rope Challenge Match
Big Show vs. Jinder Mahal

The bell rings, and Big Show quickly grabs him by the throat. Mahal fights out and punches away at him before trying to clothesline him over the top rope. Big Show doesn’t budge, and quickly sends him over.

Jinder Mahal is eliminated.

Bo Dallas is out next, but Big Show quickly takes control of him. Dallas slides off his shoulder and tries to eliminate him, but Big Show fights him off. Big Show then eliminates him.

Bo Dallas is eliminated.

The Shining Stars are going to try their luck now. They double-team Big Show and try to eliminate him, but he fights them off before giving them a double-back body drop out of the ring.

The Shining Stars are eliminated.

Goldust, Curtis Axel, and R-Truth run down and quickly attack Big Show. Mahal, Dallas, and The Shining Stars join the fray. They all attack Big Show and work together to eliminate him from the match. Big Show gets back in the ring, and they all attack. Big Show explodes out and hits Mahal with a Chokeslam. Dallas eats a Knockout Punch and Chokeslams Axel. Big Show Chokeslams The Shining Stars for good measure. The Golden Truth retreat rather than fight.

Big Show is eliminated. Contest over.

Braun Strowman’s music hits, and he comes out looking at the trophy. Strowman stands on the ramp and just stares at Big Show. Strowman says if he wanted to, he’d kick Big Show’s ass right now. That’s what everyone wants to see him do. Strowman does what he wants, so that’s why they’ll have to wait until WrestleMania. Big Show screams for Strowman to come down, but Strowman declines.

Footage is shown from last Monday when Sheamus and Cesaro kept their spot at WrestleMania.

Gallows and Anderson are being interviewed backstage about fighting Enzo and Cass tonight. Karl Anderson says they couldn’t keep their mouths shut long enough to keep Sheamus and Cesaro out of the match. They’re really stupid, and you can’t teach that. They’re the Tag Team Champions, and you can’t teach that. After WrestleMania, they’ll still be champions, and you can’t teach that.

Another vignette is shown of The Undertaker digging a grave.

-Commercial Break-

Pitbull and guests will be performing at WrestleMania this Sunday.

Charly Caruso is backstage with Roman Reigns. She says they’ve been seeing ominous signs from The Undertaker. She wants his reaction. Reigns says he’s a grown man and doesn’t worry about mind games. Reigns doesn’t believe in dead men. He believes in the big fight. Reigns will tell the world what he’ll do to The Undertaker later tonight.

A video is shown of The New Day ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange. They then reenacted the famous scene from “Rocky” doing the run up the stairs at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Big E seemed to be lagging behind eating Booty O’s, but he beat them up the stairs.

Mike Rome is backstage with Sheamus and Cesaro. He mentions they overcame the odds last week. Cesaro says he missed WrestleMania last year and won’t miss it again. Gallows and Anderson viciously attack them. They find a ladder and ram it into them.

WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Neville, makes his way to the ring looking none too pleased. Maybe he just found out his match is on the Kickoff Show, which they just announced. Neville is in action, next.

-Commercial Break-

Cruiserweight Match
Neville vs. Jack Gallagher

Neville declines the prematch handshake. They circle the ring and lock up. Neville powers him into the ropes and shoves him. Gallagher smirks and circles the ring. Neville applies a side headlock and takes him down. Gallagher walks on his hands to get out. They lock up, and Neville gets him into the corner. Neville sends him into the corner, but Gallagher does a handstand. Gallagher kicks him back and rolls him up for a two count. Neville whips him off, but Gallagher shoulder blocks him down. Neville kips up, but Gallagher takes him down. Neville counters a dropkick, but Gallagher whips him off. Neville sidesteps Gallagher and gives him a vicious German Suplex.

-Commercial Break-

We come back from the break to see Neville kick away at Gallagher. Neville hits the ropes, but Gallagher viciously head-butts him down. Neville rolls out of the ring dazed and confused. Gallagher grabs his umbrella, William the Third, and opens it up. Gallagher comes off the top rope with a Mary Poppins seated senton to the floor! Gallagher gets him in the ring, but Neville pulls him into the turnbuckle. Neville superkicks him to the apron and pulls him up to the top rope for a superplex. Neville rolls through and applies the Rings of Saturn for the win.

Winner by Submission: Neville

Austin Aries interrupts for a special news report. Neville stated earlier tonight that Aries couldn’t beat him. Aries has The New Day join him to ask. Aries asks them who they think will come out victorious: himself or Neville. Kofi Kingston says a man’s success is demonstrated by how well he moves his hips. Big E wants him to shake his hips. Aries then gyrates while asking who will walk out as the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. They start an “A-Double” chant. The crowd mics were pretty low, though.

Roman Reigns will address The Undertaker, next.

Al Roker will be the special guest ring announcer for John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse at WrestleMania.

-Commercial Break-

Footage is shown of Goldberg spearing and quickly eliminating Brock Lesnar from the Royal Rumble earlier this year. They’ll be in the ring, tonight.

Roman Reigns addresses The Undertaker

Roman Reigns makes his entrance. This Sunday, he will face the legendary Undertaker, who is 21-1 at WrestleMania. The crowd boos and buzzes while Reigns stands in the ring looking quite serious. One loud woman is screaming for him. In 2015, he won the Royal Rumble match right here in Philadelphia. That draws loud boos. Then he went on to headline WrestleMania twice, which gets more boos. For the longest time, he thought that was the biggest moment of his career, but it wasn’t. This year, he faces The Undertaker. That’ll be the biggest moment of his career. He’ll do what no one has done before him: put the Dead Man down! Reigns says this with all due respect: he doesn’t care if you’re Goldberg, Brock Lesnar, or John Cena. He doesn’t care what The Undertaker thinks. This is his time now. This sold out arena is his house now. This is his yard!

The Undertaker’s bell tolls, and the crowd pops loudly. The Undertaker’s graveyard is shown. Undertaker says Reigns has made a grave mistake. The ring he’s in belongs to him. This cemetery is Reigns’ yard. Reigns lives by the words “One versus All.” That’s why he carved out a special place in Hell for Reigns. Undertaker is shown next to the freshly dug grave. Undertaker says, “At WrestleMania, the Roman Empire will face, and ‘The Ultimate Thrill Ride’ will be your last ride.” A grave with Reigns’ name is shown. Undertaker advises Reigns to live each day as if it is his last. Soon, it will be. At WrestleMania, Reigns will…

The lights go out, and the bell tolls once again. The bell continues to toll, and the crowd gets louder. When the lights come back on, Undertaker is standing behind Reigns. Reigns slowly turns and stares at him. Undertaker holds up a microphone and says, “As I was saying, at WrestleMania, you will Rest… In… Peace!” Undertaker throws up his hands, and it thunders inside the arena. Undertaker slowly brings his hands down, and the lights go out. The bell tolls again.

-Commercial Break-

The commentators run down the WrestleMania Week shows on the WWE Network.

Enzo and Cass make their entrance to a huge reception. Enzo goes through his usual shtick while the crowd sings along. Enzo says they’re walking out of Orlando with gold around their waists. That’s partially due to the fact that they practice what they preach. Big Cass cuts him off and puts his hat on. Big Cass asks if we’re talking about practice. Enzo says they don’t need to talk about practice. They talk about game time and cross the line. They’ve got a fast pass to The Ultimate Thrill Ride. Cass says Gallows and Anderson’s bald heads are about to get burned because it’s always sunny in Philadelphia. There’s only one word to describe them…

Gallows and Anderson cut them off. Cesaro and Sheamus attack them from behind with a ladder. They then charge the ring and brawl with Enzo and Cass. Cesaro uppercuts Enzo at ringside and double-team Cass. They ram the ladder into him, but Cass soon throws the ladder into Sheamus and big boots Cesaro. Cass holds up the ladder, but Anderson chop blocks him. Gallows kicks him in the head, and they clothesline him with the ladder. Gallows and Anderson then drive the ladder into Cesaro’s ribs. Enzo goes to the top rope, but they smash the ladder in his face. Enzo crashes to the floor! Gallows and Anderson pose in the ring.

WWE celebrates Maya Angelou for Women’s History Month.

Charly Caruso is backstage with Kevin Owens. She mentions him facing Sami Zayn in a No DQ match with his job on the line. Then he’ll face another former friend… but Owens cuts her off. Owens says Chris Jericho was never his best friend. Jericho was wrong when he said Owens thought of him as a hero. At one point he was a Jericho fan. Jericho was right for making fun of him for being a fan because Chris Jericho fans are morons. If he knew what kind of person Jericho was, he wouldn’t have ever been a fan. Last week, he tore up The List of Jericho. Now he wants to tear up Sami Zayn for good. Owens wants Zayn to tell his family that he’s a failure. Owens will take away Zayn’s career like Jericho took his Universal Championship away from him. In six days at KO-Mania II, he won’t get even with Jericho. He’ll one-up him. Not only is he taking the United States Championship, he’s turning The Ultimate Thrill Ride into Chris Jericho’s ultimate demise.

It’s official: Seth Rollins will take on Triple H in a Non-Sanctioned Match at WrestleMania.

-Commercial Break-

Footage is shown from earlier in the night of the confrontation between Triple H and Seth Rollins.

Video Package: Seth Rollin vs. Triple H in a Non-Sanctioned Match

The commentators run down the entire WrestleMania card for this Sunday.

Kevin Owens makes his entrance. He’ll face Sami Zayn with Zayn’s career on the line, next.

-Commercial Break-

No Disqualification Match
Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

If Sami Zayn wins, he’ll be given an entry into the André The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. If Zayn loses, he’ll be fired from RAW.

The bell rings, and Owens quickly attacks him and beats him down in the corner. Owens backs up and talks some trash. Zayn fights back, but Owens chops him. Zayn reverses a whip, but he lowers his head and eats a kick. Zayn quickly comes back with a clothesline before punching away at him in the corner. Owens quickly rolls out of the ring to recover. Owens attacks him while he leaves the ring. Owens drives him into the barricade and whips him into the barricade, but Zayn jumps to the top. Owens quickly pushes him into the crowd. They fight in the crowd, and Zayn sends him into a wall. They fight to the ramp. Owens drives Zayn headfirst into the commentary table twice before putting him on the ramp. Zayn kicks him away and wipes him out with a flipping senton to the floor!

-Commercial Break-

We come back from the break to see Owens down at ringside holding his shoulder. Zayn takes apart the steps and throws the top half aside. Owens rakes the eyes and DDTs him on the steps! Owens then annihilates him with a senton off the steps to the floor! Wow! Owens gets Zayn in the ring and picks up a near fall. Zayn is gasping for air. Owens sizes Zayn up and clotheslines him in the corner. Owens clotheslines him in the corner a second time, and Zayn slumps down. Owens goes for a cannonball, but Zayn pops up and hits an exploder suplex into the corner that lands Owens on his head! Owens goes outside the ring to recover. Zayn goes outside and hits a torpedo DDT through the turnbuckles, spiking Owens right on his head! Zayn gets Owens in the ring and sets up for a Helluva Kick. Zayn charges into a superkick, and Owens picks up a near fall. Owens goes to the top rope and connects with a Bullfrog Splash for a near fall. Owens cannot believe it. Owens screams for him to get out of his life and goes for a Pop-up Powerbomb, but Zayn gets out and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for a near fall.

Samoa Joe makes his way to the ring and grabs a steel chair. Chris Jericho’s music hits. Joe waits for Jericho to come down the ramp, but Jericho attacks him from behind and cracks him on the back with the chair twice! Owens punches Jericho from the apron and gets in the ring. Zayn rolls him up for the win!

Winner by Pinfall: Sami Zayn

Sami Zayn’s job is safe, and he’s entered into the André The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Owens quickly attacks him from behind and punches away at him. Jericho gets in the ring and hits Owens a few times with the steel chair. Owens quickly escapes the ring. Jericho asks Owens if he knows what happens when you betray Chris Jericho. Jericho waits a while before saying, “YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!” Jericho puts Owens’ name on the new List of Jericho. Owens screams in frustration.

Brock Lesnar’s locker room is shown. He’ll go face-to-face with Goldberg, next.

-Commercial Break-

Brock Lesnar and Goldberg meet ahead of WrestleMania

Brock Lesnar’s music hits, and he makes his way to the ring to a nice reception alongside his advocate, Paul Heyman. A loud “ECW” chant fires up. Heyman says, “Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I proudly serve as the advocate for the extremist who shall derail Goldberg’s Ultimate Thrill Ride this Sunday at WrestleMania, Brock Lesnar.” Heyman starts to speak, but he’s cut off by a “Goldberg” chant. It then transitions into a “Suplex City” chant. Heyman says there is a difference of opinion. This Sunday, Goldberg enters into WrestleMania as the WWE Universal Champion. Heyman says that means he’s the one centerpiece of Monday Night RAW. Lesnar wants and needs that title. His client lusts after that title. Goldberg has that title. So many other have tried – Sting tried to pull off what Goldberg has accomplished. Where Sting fell short, Goldberg rose to the occasion with dominance and destruction. Goldberg has his respect, admiration, and compliments. Goldberg is a real life superhero. Goldberg is truly the man… but his client, Brock Lesnar, is the beast. This beast will chew him up and spit him out like nothing anyone has seen before. Really bad things happen to authentic superheroes when they step into the ring with Brock Lesnar.

How does it all end? What is the denouement to this epic saga? Heyman wants to elucidate. They need a reason to subscribe to the WWE Network or buy a seat on a secondary market. Heyman says, “Oh Bill, this Sunday at WrestleMania, you are going to Suplex City where Goldberg’s check in, but they don’t check out.” A light “Goldberg” chant fires up. Heyman says that’ll be the last “Goldberg” chant on RAW. They should rename the show to WrestleMania 33: Death to Superheroes. Heyman starts to give him Catholic rites, but realizes Goldberg is Jewish like himself. Heyman then does a Jewish burial rite. Lesnar doesn’t fear the spear because Goldberg can’t survive the F-5.

Goldberg’s music hits, and the cameras go backstage to watch him making his way through the hallways looking intense. Goldberg comes out to the ramp and says people did not come to hear them talk. They came to see them fight. Since he can’t take everyone from Philly to WrestleMania, they should bring some WrestleMania to Philly. Lesnar meets him at ringside, and Goldberg viciously spears him down on the floor! Goldberg gets in the ring and holds up the Universal Title. Lesnar clutches his ribs in pain and gasps for air while Goldberg celebrates in the ring.

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